I've been thinking a lot about prayer lately.
When I was young I was convinced that I was missing something and there must be a sort of formula that made prayer work. It didn't feel like God listened or really helped me out with my problems. I was tempted to just ditch the prayer thing, but I saw the truth of Scripture and I couldn't turn my back on it.
I was missing SOMETHING...time! Time to grow a little and to cultivate my relationship. Time to learn and understand more about who He is. Time to invest in the tools and knowledge of my faith.
I now have journals full of prayers and I cherish the conversations had there. Sometimes prayers written by others have guided my prayer life into a depth I had difficulty finding on my own. I've also been through seasons where nothing moves beyond my lips or fingertips to pray. At those times, my prayers have been an ache that pains my heart or drips from my eyes during worship.
During a conversation I was involved in many years ago someone asked about "finding God". Another involved in the conversation expressed the necessity for personal acceptance of the Savior, believing, forgiveness, eternal life and going to hell otherwise. A back and forth conversation ensued without resolution. I felt unsettled continuing along this line and my heart leapt through my lips as I was reminded, "Those who seek Him will find Him. If you really want to know God and understand. Pray. He will show you who He is." Wide eyes stared back at me from both parties and the conversation ended.
But that is exactly what I did to cultivate my prayer life. Sought Him. Day to day. Season after season. Sometimes in study, sometimes in active prayer, sometimes in beauty.
When I am tempted toward disbelief or misbelief because of a lengthy time spent waiting or a very loud NO that I am less than thrilled about, I am drawn back to the stake-in-the-ground answers He has provided over the years.
This request for prayer was shared May 16, 2010. About 17 days before God brought us the man that was the answer to my sweet girl's prayer.
It was sometime last fall that Lydia noticed that the other single-mom-parented kids she's friends with have dads. Unlike ours.
I don't coddle my girls about their dad being gone. I haven't allowed them to use not having a dad as an excuse in their lives. It's the life we have. I try to model for them an acceptance of God's sovereignty in every area and point out the myriad of ways He meets our needs in the husband and father areas of life. And believe me He does. I have moments. But, He is ALWAYS faithful. ALWAYS.
Tonight my sweet Lydia asked to pray on her own at bedtime.
"God, could you please send a man to be a daddy. It makes me sad when I see my friends with daddys. It isn't fair that I can't have a daddy."
I snuggled her close to me as I choked back my tears and kissed her dear little cheek. It wasn't easy to address her theology, but I did. Sometimes I feel it's not fair either and we can tell Him that. I want her to know she can talk with Him about everything. She can be upset and He understands how she feels. He can take it. But we need to remember that God can see lots of things we can't see and He loves us desperately enough to not worry about if we see things as "fair".
We prayed together.
"God, thank you for hearing us when we share our hearts with You. I would really like a husband to share my life with and Lydia would really like a daddy. We know that you will meet every need that we have. If it's Your will and in Your perfect timing will You please send a man that would be a wonderful husband and an exceptional daddy for our family. Amen."
She then asked if Abigail would share the request with her prayer team.
And so I am sharing it also with you.
Please join our prayer that God would send the right man along for our family.
Seek Him. You WILL find Him.
