Until Thursday Morning

My faith walk isn't always pretty. It's landscape is by turn, desolate, lushly abundant, wide flat prairie or mountain top high.  I journey it along with adventured awe, wide smiles, pensive pursuit and downright ugly cries. Sometimes, each step is battle weary.

It's been a tough week at work.

When I say tough week, I mean that it's almost as if someone is trying to drive me out of my job.

I've been getting it from every direction. Equipment malfunctions, a variety of errors in completed work that my department is responsible for, inventory counts that won't reconcile, disgruntled people going over my head, unmet, undefined and moving target expectations, too many meetings, listening to closed door complaining and having to look people in the eye and let them know that I've let them down.

Every single day.

It took until Thursday for me to recognize what was going on...

Prayers were being answered. My prayers.

I've enjoyed a season of great professional success. Much of what is required is very innate to who I am. A result of how God formed me and who He has created me to be. I manage people and things and I take my job very seriously. I make ongoing effort to steward the gift of my work well and I've come to a place in my position where I'm aware that my natural skills and talents aren't always enough to tackle the challenge of the day. I need to be more than I currently am. As I've recognized this, I've been praying over the ground I've been given, out loud, every morning as I'm about to begin the work day. I've petitioned growth and strength in those prayers. 

The one that hates me is moved to action as well. He whispers fervently the call to surrender the ground and move on from it. This enemy strikes keenly in difficult moments, attempting to drive me from the opportunities to grow and become stronger.

To become more than I am.

Then, in a quiet moment, I was reminded how answered prayers sometimes happen in tandem with the lessons learned in battle. War has a way of striking the roots of growth deep into the soul. Broad and bulky strength is forged there too.

I had forgotten...until Thursday morning.

Once reminded that I had prayed for this, I planted my feet firmly once again.